Last day in School!

Wednesday moring last week was going to be like any other school morning. I promised myself the night before that I wouldn't treat it any different. But alas, as the 7am alarm went off, my good intentions went out the window. I got out of bed with a tear in my eye and woke the baby with that same tear running down my cheek. This was no ordinary school moring, this was my last ever school morning. 

As mother to three sons I have been doing the school morning routinefor 20 consecutive years now. September 1996 saw my first born son go off to school for his first day. I recall how he told me at the school door: “Mum you go home now.” I remember leaving and feeling proud that my little man wasn't crying to come home with me like many of the other children that day. 

September 1999 saw my second son go off to his first day at school and the experience was much the same as the one before. 

Then in September 2002, the baby of the family went off on his first day of school. This was hard as now there was no one at home during the day except myself. During the two previous first day at school experiences, there was always another child to go home to.  

Over those 20 years I woke the boys for school every day, and I was home every evening when shcool was over. Being her full time didn't make me a better mum than a a working mum. It was just who I was. And it made me into the person I am today. I hope it helped shape the children into who they are today.  

Just last week someone laughed when I told them I had the 7am alarm to set as it was yet another

 school morning. This person couldn’t believe that I didn’t start work that day until 10am and yet

 I was getting up at 7 to see my 18year old off to school. In 20 years, I’ve never not seen my boys off to school in the morning!

So as breakfast was eaten on that morning, it was with a tear still there in my eye. The baby is all 

grown up and had just departed for his last ever school day.

I’m so fortunate in that these 20 years of school days really have been the best that they could be.

Primary school saw all three boys taught by the best possible teachers. Some of those teachers

influence I can still see in the boys to this day.

Secondary school was much the same. Teachers came and went and with each one, something 

new was learned. We were very fortunate that both schools served all three of the boys to the highest degree.

So now as the baby had left home for the last school day of our lives, I was not ashamed to have 
shed that tear. It was a very sad occasion but it was also a very joyous one. It was a day when I was 
going to pat myself on the back. A day I told myself, “well done you.” And it was a day I looked 
to the future. A future filled with with new possibilities for the boy and for me. There’s no more 
school lunches to be made. For that I’m grateful. 

So it’s here that the new journey begins. It’s here I set off on my own. Mum is no more the
 ‘school taxi’, no more the ‘7am alarm’ and no more the Mum of a school boy. Mum is off on
 her journey now. And that’s going to be a journey worth travelling. Maybe you’ll travel some of 
it with me.

And for the last time I said that morning, “Have a good day in school kiddo.”

The School Report

During the school years the 'school report' has always featured heavily in my household on its arrival. It signalled whether the child/children were working in school and more importantly to me, it signalled whether or not they were behaving in school. I always checked this part, the behaviour, of the report first. It was first and foremost the most important part of the schooling year. Doing the best that they could do was the main academia achievement I ever expected. There was never a need to excel other than to reach the best of their capabalities. But I always wanted to know that they behaved in the classroom and within the school environment (as with all environments in general). Good manners and good behaviour take people a long way in life.
There were reports which showcased excellent results. There were reports which showcased room for imporvement in results. There were reports that told me 'he/they could do better'. There were reports that told me 'he/they were being lazy'. On arrival of each school report over the past 19 years, there were groundings when poor behaviour was present. There was encouraged study time when results weren't to the teachers satisfaction. And there was always praise and treats when the reports showcased that the behaviour was good and results were what was expected and more. 
At no time was there need to complain to the school/s. I was fortunate and am very aware of this.
The school report always taught me something new about my child/children. Sometimes I discovered something that the boy/boys excelled at, and which I had no idea about. At times, I discovered the boy/boys had an interest in something I knew nothing about. And at times I was so proud my heart almost burst.
What I learned through each school report was that the teacher/s got to know a side to my child/children that I didn't know existed. These people, (the teachers), were spending more time with my boy/s than I was on a daily basis. Especially during the primary school years.
So often over the past 19 years I have heard other parents complain about the school, the teachers, and the methods of teaching. I beg to differ. Each and every teacher in my children's life was inspirational in so many different ways. They each instilled a trait, or enhanced a trait, in my boys.

Maybe I'm just a very fortunate parent in that, along the 19 year journey that I have travelled through the schooling years has been authentic. But I firmly believe that allowing the teachers to take control and maintain that control has assisted the boys to become the young men that they are today. They have influenced them in ways that I could never have done. They have only served to enhance the manners that I sowed the seed for. They have served to develop the benefit of education I have encouraged. And they have nurtured the ability that each and every one of the boys possessed within.

Those school reports have helped fuel all aspects of my children's development, academically and personally.
Just recently I received my last ever school report. It reassured me that the youngest of my three boys is doing the very best that he can do. But it also brought to my attention that he can still do that 'little bit more'. He can still strive to achieve that higher grade. But now, it is down to him. The teaching staff at both primary and secondary level have done their job well. They have encouraged him and steered him in the right direction. 

Now as he sets out on the 'home sprint' towards Leaving Cert 2016, it is all down to him. It's down to him to put in the extra study. It's down to him to burn the midnight oil. And it's down to him as to whether he gets the desired points in August.
The school report has helped me get to know my children in a variety of ways. The school report has enabled me to keep on top of my children's development. And the school report has allowed me to acknowledge the huge impact that the schools, teachers and the education system has had on my children. As the last school report arrived just a few weeks ago, I read it with a tear in my eye, but with huge pride in my heart. The tear showcases the sadness I feel for the end of this very important landmark in my children's lives. The pride is for the outstanding work of all the teachers that I, and my children, hav encountered along the way. The teachers that have instilled a confidence in my boys, a sense of worth in my boys and for pointing them in the right direction in life. These people, the teachers haven't only taught my boys how to add, substract, how to read and write, they have taught them how to behave, to appreciate and to integrate. They have taught them how to live well.
For that I thank them. And I thank them for all those school reports. Those reports that reported to me just who and what my children are, and will be.
Never underestimate those sometimes dreaded school reports. I have a collection of 19 years worth. And I wouldn't part with them for all the tea in China!

Holidaying without the kids

I read earlier today on the Ireland AM Facebook page about Sky News presenter Samantha Simmonds advising parents of needing a break from parenting. The caption then read 'Do you ever put yourself before your children?'
It got me thinking and annoyed me a little. Apparently Simmonds and her husband had gone on holiday for almost a week without their children. Holy Cow! How awful! Not.
Parents need time away from their children, not only to recharge the batteries for parenting but to keep their relationship alive and real. I've seen so many couples forget about themselves and family life takes over. Surely that just isn't right.
Of course I understand the bills have to be paid; the school run has to be done; the extra curricular activities have to be attended. But Mum and Dad need 'time out' every now and again for their time.

As always I can only speak about my own experiences. When my three boys were little my husband and I had very little money. I was a full time Mum and my husband was both studying and working. So every Saturday night we took time away from the children and we had a 'night out'. Some weeks we had money for a few drinks, others we just took time to have a walk and a few hours minus the children. At least two weekends a year we took a weekend away - minus the three boys. Many of these weekend were spend visiting family members in Dublin, but the main element was that the children did NOT come with us.
As time went by and we could afford it, we began to take a week in the sun every two years - minus the children. This was our week to spend with just each other. The children came along on a number of occasions over the years but those were our 'family holidays'.
I never regretted these weekends and weeks away. They were a tonic for our marriage. The marriage that turns 24 this year. The marriage that now has three grown sons and all the time in the world for ourselves.
Some people think it's ok to put your life on hold whilst the children grow up. I completely disagree with this. I've watched so many of my friends' marriages fall apart when the children had grown up because they did indeed put their life as a couple on hold during the childhood years with the kids. Then when the children didn't need them anymore, the parents discovered that all they'd had in common was the children. It just doesn't work.
I'm not perfect. My marriage isn't perfect. And my husband certainly isn't perfect (note how I exaggerate his not being perfect!!!). But we still enjoy our time. We still enjoy those holidays and those Saturday nights. We still know each other. We still want to do these things together. Maybe if we hadn't taken all those breaks without the boys, our world and life would be very different today. But it's not. And it's such because we never forgot about 'us'. Children grow up and leave. I love my kids dearly, But I'm really grateful that I always continued to love 'me' and my marriage too. Now to go plan another well earned weekend away....just himself and myself!!

Family Meal time

Dinner time is not the same in the modern world as in years gone by. It's never easy to gather a family to the table on a daily basis. There's work, college, school, sports, and other activites which now prevent the entire household to gather at the table. And mine is no exception.
Earlier today my wee family of five were part of a larger family group for a Sunday lunch celebrating a family friend's 85th birthday. As we five sat beside each other I realised that this is the first time we had gathered together to eat since Christmas Day. With the eldest boy living out of home now by himself, the family are not all under the one roof (mind you the said boy pops in home on a regular basis to eat but just not at regular eating times). Son number two is in college during weekdays and that leaves just three of us at home.

Even with the three, there's rarely an evening that we all eat together. Everyone works different hours and with my being self-employed work can carry on to midnight on occasion.
However when the children were younger the dinner table was a very important facet of family life. It wasn't the perfect dinner table (I've never had a passion for cooking) but there was always food and thankfully it got eaten. But that time at the said table was the time when the day's experiences came out. It was at these times I learned about the good and the bad during that day. Be it in school, the football pitch or just outside on the street. Dinner time allowed for conversation to flow among everyone. It was never planned but I soon discovered that many of the issues going on in the children's lives were disclosed at this time. There were dinners of laughter and there were dinners of tears. But at all times it was 'shared times'.
 Looking back now I realise how important this family time really was. This was a special time and it was a valued time. Secrets became exposed and problems were solved. It was in many ways a therapeutic time of day.

Earlier today I learned some things about the boys lives that I didn't know were currently happening. It was just small things but it came out over the dinner table. It was just like old times. No one else noticed these little things. But I did (mother always notices!!)
So I'm guessing the moral of this little blog piece is to simply make time when possible to sit together at the table. It doesn't have to be a roast dinner. Mine was often beans on toast. But it was our meal time.  It was time to talk and share. It was our family time. And it now holds special memories. Make yours a time to remember too.

Children and Pocket Money

I'm really not sure if parents still give their children pocket money anymore or not. But when my kiddos were young it was part of the weekly routine. I think I started giving pocket money around the time the eldest boy was about 8. He was given €5 and the second boy got €3. That doesn't sound like a lot of money now but it was more than sufficient for them at the time. The idea behind pocket money was that it enabled them to purchase whatever sweets they wanted that week. From the onset of pocket money there was no sweet treats from Mum and Dad.
A Friday evening was the day of allocation of this money and most weeks by Saturday it was all spent. Over time this was managed a bit better and as the years went by the boys began managing their money in their own way. As they got older, the pocket money increased. It reached the stage that their money would pay for football training, sweet treats and any other treats they wished to buy. It was an on-going exercise to teach them to manage money and to budget.
I watched as they learned from each other. They would compare purchases and they even began to share at times. But the most noteworthy response was one day as I visited the school for 'Parents Evening'. On this day my second boy was approxiately 7 years old. He'd been getting pocket money for about 3 years. His teacher was able to tell me this day that it was obvious to her that my boy was used to handling money. I told her about the pocket money. She in turn told me that this shows in his mathematical ability. Earlier that week the class had been doing 'money' during maths time. Apparently my son was able to calculate the change from any given amount of spending the teacher proposed to him. She explained to me that the
simple exercise of him going into  a shop unaccompained by me or his father and having to work out what he could afford with the little money he had was paying off in the classroom.
As the years went by and pocket money increased they then had to budget for hair-cuts, hair gel, and all the accessories they wanted. Mum and Dad gave a certain amount weekly and the spending was curtailed to their own needs.
Now in young adulthood I watch as they still budget with their own money. I admire how they can do such. I just wish someone had given me pocket money as a child and maybe I would have some money in my purse today! Alas it wasn't to be!
Pocket Money definitely works in so many ways. It teaches them many lessons and they learn each one of those lessons by themselves over time. Give it a try and see for yourself.

GMcC

Christmas morning and no children outside...

Just one week ago I awoke on Christmas morning around 8am. Having been late getting to bed owing to my big children and their father playing with a new remote control car I was feeling a tad tired. So the only way I know to wake up properly is to go a good brisk walk. And so on this Christmas morning like all others before I did just this. It was shortly after 10am when I finally donned the walking shoes, hat, scarf and gloves. I headed out locally through two housing estates, the back road and then through my local village.
It was a rather pleasant morning. The air was fresh and cool but the sky was clear. A perfect Christmas morning for children to be out playing with their new toys. Or was it?
I walked for over half an hour and on my return home a real sense of sadness prevailed. Not one child had I met or saw outside on this Christmas morning. Not one new bicycle, scooter, remote controlled car, football or other did I spy.
Instead it was all heads in front of the smart tv, the latest playstation, new iphone, ipad or other technology item.
I'm all in favour of technology and moving forward in this high tech world we now live in. Our children must all be tech savvy to get on in life in the modern world. This I can't argue with. But surely there is still a need for fresh air: for sunshine: for wind at their cheeks. Has this really been lost?
As I sat down at home with my own boys that morning I remembered the Christmases past when they were three excited children on Christmas morning. The only one thing that bothered them on this morning was that I wouldn't allow them outside until someone else was out first. I didn't want them waking the neighbours. By 7am there was always at least half a dozen kids outside showing each other the new toys, the new bicycles, the new cars etc. By 9am it was time to return inside for breakfast and some heat. This was just part of the Christmas Day ritual.
I am very aware that outdoors is not explored now, near as much. But surely on Christmas morning there are still kids playing outside. I hope that my area is not an example of the nation. I really hope that some children still enjoy going outside with a good old fashioned toy or other to play and show their friends and neighbours.
It's times like this I really am glad I had my children when I did. The days of fresh air and fun. The days of dirt and freedom. The days of playing. The days when children were children.

Christmas Shopping for 'big kids'.

Is it only me or is Christmas shopping really an absolute NIGHTMARE with the 'big' kids? I do realise that my children are very much now, NOT children, but I still want to do my best and get the desired requisites for the festive season for the not so child-like children.
Earlier tonight I ventured into town (Derry) with my two youngest sons (now aged 17 and 21). There was the usual hustle and bustle about what exactly we were looking for and the said kiddos did manage to escort me to certain shops which stocked the desired 'shirt' and 'shoes' that will of course be necessary for nights out over the festive period.
There's no such thing now as the bargain buy from Primark or the better quality purchase from Dunnes Stores. Oh no, it's now 'Jack and Jones', 'Next Man' or 'River Island' which must be visited. And there's no seeking out the 'Sale' rail. Heaven forbid! And that's just the Christmas clothes.
Trying to pin the 'big kids' down to a Santa gift is a nightmare. There's the 'I'd like a watch but I'm not sure what kind'. There's the 'I want shoes but I'm not sure where to look'.
And of course when I make a suggestion, it's a frowning, 'no, not that'. So just what is it they want? I've tried and tested all sorts and all to no avail. What would I possibly know? I have no taste, no experience, no idea, and very soon, NO MONEY!
And so it was to McDonalds we headed. As I sat alone, the kids went to order (and they even paid). Whilst waiting for them to deliver, a mother and 3 young boys sat down beside me. The 3 boys were all under ten. I smiled to myself and remembered years gone by when this was me. Those were the days when I could pop into Primark and stock up on clothes, shoes and more. Those were the days when I could sneak into Smyths and buy toys they would love. Those were the days when shopping for Christmas seemed so stressful but in hindsight was so stress-free. I didn't know how lucky I was.
Now I'm ensuring the receipts are all kept. I'm ensuring there are other sizes and makes available in what I buy. I'm ensuring I spend equally on each one (heaven forbid one gets more spent on than the other!)
However, there are added benefits to the shopping for those 'big kids'. As we sat down to eat they told me of their purchase for their Dad. I almost fell over when I heard the cost, but it led me to think that maybe (hopefully) they've spent the same on me!! They bought for Grandad and they bought for girlfriends. Alas there was no mention of Mum, but surely it's there, somewhere!
Maybe I'm trying too hard to please them and forgetting that they are now equally trying to please me and Dad. Maybe they stressed just a little about what to buy us. Or maybe they didn't! But either way, it's a delight that they want to spend their money on us. For the little things I really must be grateful.
For all you Mums of little kids, just enjoy that festive shopping experience. All too soon they will be grown up and be so much harder to buy for. Enjoy the little ones and the little things they appreciate. All too soon it is gone.
Christmas shopping doesn't get easier. It gets more complicated and it gets more expensive. Treasure the early years in life and treasure every single minute as you watch them grow. All too soon it is over. All too soon they are 'big kids'.And all too soon they are spending too!

Aladdin, Panto in Derry

I may be an adult in age but when it comes to Panto season I'm a child at heart. If it's one thing you do with your child this Christmas, do make it a visit to the annual Derry panto!
Part of the annual Christmas tradition here in the North West of Ireland is the staging of the Milennium Forum pantomime. This year is certain not to disappoint with Aladdin, in association with Dunnes Stores, commencing on Friday December 4th.
"The Forum's fine tradition of staging pantomimes continues to provide the very best in festive entertainment." (Derry Journal)

When street urchin Aladdin frees a genie from a lamp, he finds his wishes granted. However, he soon finds the evil Jafar has other plans for the lamp - and for Princess Jasmine. But can Aladdin save the Princess and his love for her after she sees that he isn't quite what he appears to be?
This year 2015 in Derry sees William Caulfield, the panto Dame, celebrate his 10th year as the star of the Forum's panto. He never fails in delivering a fun-filled, lively entertaining show and I don't doubt this year will be no exception.
Young and old alike will desend on Derry's Millennium Forum and kickstart Christmas with a bang. Others will wait until after the big day and unwind with this fabulous show.
Tickets for the said show which will run from December 4th until January 3rd can be purchased online at Millennium Forum Box Office now.
An avid fan of panto from my youth I can certainly recommend this as an absolutely amazing family experience for all ages. This is one show you don't want to miss this Christmas.

GMcC

World Prematurity Day 2015

Today marks the 5th World Prematurity Day. Today is a day I hold very close to my own heart. It is a day I remember my eldest son being born. I was just 28 weeks pregnant when the boy decided to make an appearance. He was born at St. Munchins Maternity Hospital in Limerick and it is a day I shall never forget.
My eldest son was born at just 28 weeks gestation and was given just a slim chance at survival. He weighed in at just over 3lb's and dropped to 2lb 14 after the first day.
St. Munchins Maternity Hospital in Limerick provided him and us with the utmost of care and thanks to all of the staff there our little boy defeated all the odds.

We were told that if he survived the first 72 hours that the odds were in his favour. He did just that and made it from one week to the next. After just 4 weeks the boy weighing just 4 lbs was moved out of the incubator and into a cot. We were beside ourselves with excitment. And just 4 more weeks after this, we were allowed to take our little 5lb baby home.
The doctors told us that this little boy was a born fighter. He told us that he really was a special little man. Very few premature babies get discharged from hospital before their due date and here was our wee man going home a whole month before he was due to be born.
His consultant did tell us to be prepared that our boy would always be small for his age and have a low IQ. We didn't mind this as we just wanted our boy alive and well.
But now 24 years later, he really did defy all odds. He proudly stands at 6 foot tall and with a higher that average IQ, he went on to prove everyone wrong.
World Prematurity Day will always hold a special place in my heart. Please take a moment today and remember all our babies that are born too soon. Not everyone is as lucky as we have been.

GMcC

My sympathy with Paris

On Friday night last as the terror attack struck Paris, I was inside The Arts Theatre in London's West End with my 17 year old son. We had travelled to London to see the musical American Idiot for the said boy's forthcoming 18th birthday.
Having spent the day on Friday doing all the sites of London we ventured into Leicester Square at approximately 7pm. We spent almost an hour just wandering around watching folk walk by and taking in all the illuminated sights. The boy had never been to London and was thoroughly enjoying this night time experience in the city centre. We laughed and we joked as we people-watched, and then we made our way to the theatre.
As I purchased a glass of fine wine for myself and apple juice for himself (yes he really is teetotal), we then made our way downstairs to the theatre for the show. We settled ourselves into the allocated seats and spent the next two hours, singing, humming, and just enjoying the sheer brilliance that was on the London stage. Huge Green Day fans, we both rocked to the beat.
At no time did I feel concerned or worried or otherwise. I was just very happy and content with the boy at this, his first West End experience. The theatre was rather dark and dreary but the stage was alight with musical talent. I don't normally like dark and dreary environments but I still felt very much at ease here.
When the two hours were up my boy and I left the theatre feeling very much elated with what we just witnessed. We sauntered along the London streets oblivious to what had happened in Paris. We even went underground and took the 'Tube' back to Russel Square. And then we stopped at Sub-Way, as the boy was hungry.
When we eventually arrived back at our hotel room, we settled into our cosy twin beds and logged onto our facebook. I sat bolt upright as soon as I saw the words 'terror attack' on Paris. As I read a number of pieces, I learned that 12 people had been killed that night. I was aghast and decided to put the phone down as this was spoiling the night I had just experienced. As we were both shattered it didn't take long for sleep to welcome us.
By 7am I was crying on my bed. I had awoken early and logged on to see just what had happened the previous night. As the events unfolded before my very eyes in words, I began to put myself in the position of those poor people. As I sat in a London theatre next to my son, these people had stood/sat next to each other in a similar theatre in Paris. Tears ran down my face as I tried to imagine what these people must have felt on realising  what was happening around them. This could so easily have been us that previous night.
But it wasn't us, it was 100+ people in Paris. My tears were getting stronger as I realised just how horrific the terror was. I dressed and went walking the streets of London. I felt a common bond with everyone I met....we were all thinking the same thing....we were all thinking on Paris.
My son and I left London on Saturday afternoon. We talked about Paris for the rest of the day. We tried to imagine how the Parisian people were feeling. We could only be certain of how we were feeling. Sombre and sad. There was nothing that we could do, and to say we felt helpless was an understatement. But we had to journey on and make our trip home.
Paris has been on our mind ever since. As a Mum I can only send my sincerest condolences to the people of Paris. As a Mum I can only be thankful that my son is alive and well. I can only be thankful that my three sons are alive and well.
I guess the moral of my story is, treasure your children. None of us know what tomorow will bring. Paris didn't!

GMcC

Brooklyn, The movie, and that dreaded 'goodbye'.

Last night I went along to see the movie Brooklyn. Based on the novel by Colm Toibín I was really looking forward to seeing it on the big screen. Being an avid book lover I was well prepared for the movie falling short of the book. Which it did...but....
The movie awoke in me memories I thought were in the past. Images which I could so clearly relate to, and a genuine heartfelt sympathy towards every mother in the past who said 'goodbye' to a son or daughter from the homeland.
Brookly tells the story of a young Irish girl, Eilis Lacey, who leaves her home in Co. Wexford to build a better life for herself in Brooklyn. She leaves behind her elder sister Rose, and her mother. It is mid 1950's and the boat journey alone was one of sheer horror.
I knew the story. I've read it and tutored it. There were going to be no surprises here for me. Or so I thought.
As Eilis boarded the ship at Cork and her mother and sister stood by, it simply drew on raw emotion from every single person in the packed cinema theatre. One doesn't have to have experienced this situation to have been affected from this on the big screen last night. Such was the portrayal. Close up shots of both Eilis and her family were enough to bring a tear to every eye.
But alas the tears I shed were not just for this and so many other families in years gone by. My tears that welled up were awakening memories from just a few years ago.
My eldest son was leaving home to spend two years in a very remote part of Canada. I was so pleased that he was going to see the world and no doubt better himself in so many ways, but the experience of that 'goodbye' ripped a little piece of me to shreds.
As I watched these scenes last night it made me realise just how lucky I had been, and how lucky all of us mothers in the modern day are when saying such a 'goodbye'. We have the internet, we have mobile phones and we have such easy accessibility to keep in touch. As my son left Irish shores I knew I'd be speaking to him the following day. I knew I'd see him on a regualar basis via 'Skype' and 'Facetime'. And I knew that he would definitely return home again. Even if he had chosen to make a life long-term in Canada it wouldn't have meant never seeing him again.
As I watched this gripping scene last night I thought on all those mothers who said 'goodbye' to sons and daughters all those years ago and they genuinely didn't know if they would ever see their children again. It would be weeks and maybe months before a letter would arrive with news. Many were never heard of again. As a mother, I cannot even begin to contemplate such.
When the tears finally subsided I did enjoy the movie Brooklyn. It showcases emigration and all that it entails wonderfully. It is definitely a movie I would highly recommend but put a tissue in your pocket (you will be needing it). Saoirse Ronan excels in her portrayal of Eilis.
More than anything I came away thankful for the developments in modern technology and knowing that we mothers will never experience the great sense of loss and that 'wake' by the boat. Count our blessings that emmigration in the modern day doesn't mean 'goodbye' forever.

GMcC

Leaving Cert prep

Having two sons well and truly through the Leaving Cert it's now time to try and prepare the youngest kiddo for such. June 2016 seems a lifetime away now in November but alas it will be upon us before we can say 'Big Maggie'!
And yes, Keane's masterpiece 'Big Maggie' is indeed one of the texts he is studying for the forthcoming exams. With seven subjects alongside LCVP to prepare and revise it's quite a daunting concept thinking that these exams really can determine your future.
When kiddo no. 1 was preparing for the Leaving Cert I was nagging day in, day out, to get the books out and get revising. I would consistently repeat, 'these are the most important exams you will ever do'. And I still stand by the fact that these probably are the most important exams they will ever do: but I'm a tad more relaxed now with no. 3!
I'm not relaxed in that I don't want to encourage him to work well and do his best but more so in that I've realised these exams are not the 'be all and end all'. I've watched parents sending their 10 year old children to 'grinds' over the past year in preparation for the 'transfer test' in Northern Ireland. I watched the same children redo and redo past exam papers. These kids are just 10 years of age. Personally I view this as cruelty. And here I am just nagging the 17 year old to read over notes!
I place huge emphasis on my boys getting a good education. The main requirement always has been that they 'have' to do the Leaving Cert. I had dreams that they would then choose to take the college route and acquire a third level qualification - to which boys 1 and 2 have done.
Now as the youngest kiddo prepares for Leaving Cert and plans to further his education after such, I can smile with the knowledge that they will each have that little thing called an education to help carry them through life.
Having that said education is no guarantee to success or fortune, but it will be of huge benefit in so many areas in life. It instils a level of self-confidence and self-belief in themselves. It teaches them life and social skills for the future. It teaches them that they have a 'voice'. And going to college does of course teach them to fend for themselves (well maybe not!!).
So as the onslaught of the forthcoming Leaving Cert fast approaches and the stress kicks in, I must keep reminding myself that this is not the 'be all and end all'. It is just another step forward in the boys life. When he decides to turn on the playstation and convince me it's his 'time out', I must remember to respect that 'time out'. And then when June arrives, I'm going to trust that the kiddo will indeed do the best that he can do. I don't expect him to do the best that someone else can do. He isn't someone else, He's just himself. And whatever the outcome I know I'll be proud. Leaving Cert 2016 we're ready. Come and get us!

GMcC

Sick Days

It's Monday morning once more and it brings with it not only the wind and the rain, but some sickness too. The kiddo was awake and ready for school but the coughing and spluttering was consistent. And so I told him to go back under the duvet and have a day of rest to see if the dose might shift.
I came downstairs and then contemplated my decision. I know I've made the right one but I didn't always do such. When the children were young I was adamant that they couldn't miss school. I didn't want them falling behind with that all important school work.
Now I still think it's important to keep up with that all important school work but I think it's much more important to keep on top of your health. The kiddo might just have a bad cold and cough but I'd much rather know he was under his duvet, warm and comfy, than troopsing through school all day and passing around his germs.
Next week he has his final set of 'house exams'. His next exams will be the Mock Leaving Cert in February and then of course it's the 'big one' in June.
He's been given some instructions (by me, mother of course) to read over some revision notes, after he's had an extended morning sleep, and stay warm for the day.
Maybe this makes me a bad mother encouraging him to stay off school when he's really not falling apart at the seams, but I've learned with experience that having a healthy family far outweighs the opposite.
Everyone who knows me will be aware that I place my children's educatioin at the core of their development but their health and well being is so much more important.
So it's a sick day for the kiddo today. I'll be getting a mid-morning text message from school saying he's been marked absent. I'll make the call to explain he's sick and all will be well.
I've learned over the years that a clean sheet of attendance is nice to get, but not at the price of my kids health. Sick days, we all need them!

GMcC

Living on a Council Estate!

Whilst blogging with Mummy Pages I wrote a piece one month about my bringing my boys up on a Council Estate. It got a lot of feedback so I'm doing similar again. Not because I want lots of feedback but because it's something I feel very strongly about.
I moved to my present house when my two eldest boys were just 4 and 1. Having moved back home after a number of years in Co. Clare and a short spell in New York, my husband I had been renting a house in our local area for a few years. We had been placed on a waiting list for new Council housing as at that time we were both unemployed. Luck was on our side and in 1995 we were allocated a brand spanking new three bedroomed house in the village we were residing (and still reside today).
We moved in shortly after and life took a turn which I wasn't expecting.
Having grown up in a modest 4 bed bungalow in the countryside I had no understanding of council estate living or the like. So moving into this new house could only bring joy and happiness...right? Wrong!
It brought us a very comfortable place to live, warm, clean and spacious. It brought us the opportunity to settle and begin to build our family home. But it also brought us social segregation from many around. Living in a council estate gives others the right to judge you. Or so those others seem to think.
Fortunatley myself and my husband both came from strong independent backgrounds and both had good educations. But that didn't matter to others. It did matter to me. Having this behind me enabled me to grasp at my own confidence and self-esteem to get through many times when I felt frowned upon by others on the so called 'outside'. Those who lived in large, fancy houses. And those who probably wouldn't know the meaning of the word 'manners' if one threw it at them. But each and every one of my neighbours knew the word 'manners'. There was a mutual respect from everyone in the neighbourhood. Mind you that's not to say there weren't falling outs among neighbours, neighbourly disputes on many occasions, but those are all long forgotten about and put to rest. Doesn't everyone fall out now and again? I'm aware of people in neighbouring villages and towns who don't speak to their neighbour over silly issues. But of course we don't talk about them. They don't live in a council estate!
I can say that everyone in my street speak, greet and welcome each other on a daily basis. I still live in that same house, with the same neighbours and unfortunately still some of the same prejudice. I and my husband bought our house many years ago. At one time we contemplated selling up and moving out. We could buy in another estate in the village...or we could build a nice home in the country. But after thinking about it, we decided to stay where we were. There are neighbours all around where we can call if something is wrong. We can call in the middle of the night if we need something. And I'm pretty sure I can call first thing in the morning if I need a drop of milk.
Many of my neighbours still rent their house from the local council. Does that make me better than them because I own my house? Most certainly NOT. If anything it makes us all the more equal. We all live in the same street and have made our family lives in the same vicinity. Much of my work takes me around the local area, county, country and indeed sometimes further afield. I've met some amazing people and in recent years I met many contemporary music stars. I've hung out with Eric Bell (Thin Lizzy)...I've chatted with Bryan Adams...and I've had the banter with Sinead O'Connor. As for trad musicians worldwide, I've lost count of those I've interviewed and gotten to know. But at the end of all this, I return home to my little abode in that Council Estate. That abode that I call home. That abode that is surrounded by great neighbours and the abode I don't plan on leaving anytime soon.
Being a Mum in this situation was never easy. It made me more determined that ever to ensure my boys were educated to the highest degree. The youngest boy is preparing for his college education next year and the elder two have done theirs. But that's not the only education that I've encouraged in them. Perhaps the most important education they have gotten is that they know never to judge another person.
Word to the not so wise....never judge a book by it's cover and never just a person by where they live.

GMcC

Christmas gift

One always looks forward to Christmas and having that fun time with family. However not eveyone can look forward as it means hardship and struggle when the money just isn't there. Our children all get excited as the Christmas season fast approaches and it never changes.
In the present day I am the very proud mother to three young men. The childhood days are long gone and the excitement however is no less! Santa will still come to the 'men' and smiles will be had on Christmas Day.
But I may differ just a little from many around me. Lots of money does NOT be spent. Lots of presents do NOT be bought. This has always been the way. When the boys were little there was always a budget and it was never exceeded. The budget was put in place initially because funds were low and times were tough. No shame in admitting it and I'll always stand by it. I think the budget was €50 each when the  children were little and it went up to €100 in the teenage years. It was a lot for us and it enabled the children to recieve a nice present and small surprise each year.
I recall close friends spending in excess of €500 on each child and I always said that even if I could ever afford such, it would not be put in place. I have never been able to afford such so the decision has never been an issue.
Christmas for me was always about the fun and frolics during the Christmas period. It was about sharing that glass of wine (maybe 2!) with a very dear friend on Christmas Eve. It was about the children waking myself and their Dad in the very early hours and them insisting that Dad venture downstairs first. This ritual went on for many years.
Now on Christmas Eve, Dad and I still put the surprise presents out when all are in bed. I still have that glass of wine with the dear friend. And fortunately we do get to lie on that little bit longer now (maybe 6am!). The boys still get up quite early and the Christmas morning fun will still be had.
I'm telling this story because I think I did Christmas the right way. I'm not saying I'm right but I think it paid off. The holiday time was about spending it with the children and just enjoying. It was the one time of year we always had 'pyjama days'. We had 'movie days' and we just had 'family days'. Each of these days cost nothing. But they were rich and filled with wealth in so many ways.
As I watched an IKEA advertisment online just recently it all came back to me. It really does hit home what children really want. I'm pretty certain I didn't get to give my children everything they ever wanted but I did give my time. Now as they all grow into adults, I can see the rewards. Just give it a go. You'll be pleasantly surprised.
IKEA advert

GMcC

Sunday outings!

For many people Sundays are meant for lazing around and switching off for that one day only. As a mother I always saw Sundays as the one day the family spent together.
The three boys would look forward to the Sunday dinner as they knew that following this it would be all heads off out for the afternoon. Yes every Sunday it was a ritual to leave the house and go exploring.
Very often this trip took us to a beach where we all walked for what seemed like hours or if weather allowed, fun times would be had in the water. Winter walks along beaches were also had. There were trips to forest parks, to country fields, to touristy spots. And there were some Sunday's where we just put on the wooly hats and coats and went walking locally.
Whatever the weather and whatever the season, a Sunday would always consist of a day out. Very often these days would have incurred little expense (finances didn't allow) but as we learned over time, it didn't have to cost anything to spend that one day together.
As time went by and football matches became the norm on Sunday mornings and lunchtime, the outing would still be had later in the day.
I don't have those days any more. The boys have grown up and do their own Sunday rituals. However I spied on one of the boys facebook just lately that he and his girlfriend were walking a beach on a Sunday afternnon. I smiled to myself hoping this will be something he will continue to do as life goes on and he has his own family. It's a tradition which I firmly believe was very important for the family as a whole.
And it doesn't have to stop there. Myself and himself still take those Sunday trips. And on each one, we'll remember one of those Sunday's many years ago. They were great ones. But these are great ones too....these are for 'grown ups' only!!

GMcC

Kids Cancer and Halloween!

As today progresses most of us are ensuring that we have enough sweets and treats in store for all the kids that will be calling as darkness arrives. This 'trick or treat' event has been ongoing for many decades. I did it, my kids did it, and still it continues. I've just returned myself from stocking up on a selection of sweets for later on.
When I arrived home and logged into facebook I was awakened to the fact that there are so many children in our midst who would love to be going 'trick or treating' tonight but are unable to. Why? Because Cancer has stolen their childhood.

Perhaps I wouldn't be so aware of this if it wasn't for one local little girl who has been undergoing treatment for the past two years now. Someone who is a star among the stars as her smile shines brightly through all her pain and suffering. Someone who would no doubt delight in going around the locality tonight trick or treating with her siblings. But alas, like many others in her situation, she is unable to due to the risk of infection and because they are still receiving treatment for cancer.
So as each child arrives on your doorstep this evening, put a little extra sweet in their bag and wish them well on their night ahead. Sometimes we really do forget how lucky we are having healthy children. Let's ensure that these kids tonight have a fun experience and let's not forget all those chidren who are unable to venture out because Cancer has stolen this experience from them.
Next year I hope to see a certain little someone knock on my door and she will be given every available treat that's going.

GMcC

Halloween

It's that time of year once more. October 31st and all the witches and devils will be upon us before nightfall. Trick or Treaters knocking the door as soon as darkness appears. Ghosts and ghouls walking the streets and party goers having fun and frolics until the wee hours.
Halloween is as big an occasion now as Chiristmas and perhaps even more so for some folk.
Living on the Derry/Dongal border I'm very fortunate to be within just a few miles of the city that was just recently voted the best to be in for Halloween, Derry! And come nightfall today I will indeed be venturing into Derry for the outlandish carnival and fireworks display that will await me. I'll walk the walls and walk the streets and enjoy every waking moment of it.
But it wasn't always that way!
Last night on Facebook I saw a friend of mine post a status about not liking Halloween. The same friend has young children who all love Halloween. Immediately I was drawn to her post. I can relate to it in every possible way.
My three boys loved Halloween as they were growing up. They would plan for days in advance what they were going to wear and where they were going 'trick or treating'. I dreaded it. Perhaps it's because we lived (still do) in a housing estate and all the neighbouring children and those beyond would descend on us as soon as darkness did likewise and the door wouldn't stop until midnight. I recall going to the door with sweets, nuts, crisps and more with a smile planted firmly on my face. Each time I closed the door I cringed hoping another knock wouldn't come. But it always did. I can't explain my reason for this but I just couldn't get into the Halloween spirit so to speak.
My boys would be out 'trick or treating' and return home with bags overflowing with sweets. I hated them eating so much rubbish on one night but it was Halloween after all. I had to stay quite and just let them enjoy.
Then as the boys grew older they would go off roaming the streets on Halloween with their friends. At no time were my boys allowed fireworks but they were in the company of people who were. I sat at home worrying that they would be hurt, or worse still, be responsible for hurting someone else.
It was a relief every Halloween night when all would return and I could turn off the lights knowing everyone was in bed.
So call me a spoil sport or other, but as a mother with young children I never liked Halloween.
However as night fallls later today, I'll be off up that city centre with camera in hand and enjoy the fun and frolics with the rest of them.
Not liking Halloween didn't make me a bad Mum I don't think. It made me a real Mum. Seeing my friend's post last night took away a lot of the guilt I used to feel. There's no shame in not being the same as everyone else. There's no shame is bieng honest.
If you enjoy Halloween, have a wonderful day and night. If you don't enjoy Halloween, then curl up with a good book for the day and night. Get lost in those pages and let the ghosts and ghouls remain outside where they belong.

GMcC

Graduation

Perhaps I place too much emphasis on education. I'm not saying I'm right to do so, but I do believe it's an achievement that's very easy carried through life. I'm a firm believer in NOT pushing my kids through the academic life but simply encouraging it. From day one I have done just this.
My one motto was always that my three boys HAD to do their Leaving Certificate. I had dreams that they would all go through college/uni but that would have to be their own self choice: their decision.
Having all boys I knew it would always be a difficult road in encouraging them to follow the academic route but I was lucky. Their teachers and schools did the hard work and I took that back seat (well relatively speaking!). I did try and encourage the third level road but thankfully teachers influence stood over mine and that route was taken by the two eldest to date.

College wasn't easy. Boy no.1 didn't want to go down this road but after a year out decided for himself that it was a road he had to travel. And travel that road he did. Being very fortunate in knowing what he wanted to do he returned to study in his field and after third level study found a full time job which then led him to travel to Canada. After two years there he returned home and now working in his field of Agricultural Mechanics. However he didn't return to college for graduation as he was just glad to be finished study and had no wish to return for receipt of his parchement. A postal reciept was sufficent for himself.
Earlier today I was privvy to watch kiddo no.2 recieve his degree parchement from his college. A very proud moment it was for me, his mother.
This was a day I had dreamed of for 25 years and to say I was proud is an understatement.
Now kiddo no.3 is prepaing for Leaving Certificate and has plans for further study. I can't take credit for this, it is all  his own doing. However as Mother I am proud once more that the youngest kid will take the academic road to bettering his future.
Education is definitely not the 'be all and end all' but it certainly helps in the modern day to have such behind you.
So as October 2015 comes to a close, so does my aspirations for my chldren. They have all aspired to better themselves through education and I can only hope that it serves them well.
My job is far from done, but it is certainly a little lightened knowing that they have a good education behind them.
It hasn't been easy getting them here, but they are arriving via their own journey.
As one journey ends, another is destined to begin. Here's hoping it's a fun one to travel for each and every one of them.

GMcC

Mummy: My Journey. Me!

I've been a Mummy Blogger with Mummy Pages for some time now. However last week as I attended my last 'Parent's Day', after 19 years it was time to leave this blog. My children are no longer children and so my time here was done. It was an amazing experience and one I loved. I've never been the perfect parent and my children have never been, and never will be, the perfect children. But I enjoyed passing my experience onto others. It may have helped or it may not. But I had some great feedback and so today as I watched my second son graduate, I decided to embark on this new blog of my own.
North West Culture Gal is a blog about my life in general and all the culture and life that I experience, but now I'm going to add this page about my being Mum. From the birth of my 3 boys to the present day - the eldest boy is now a working man: the second has just graduated, and the third is preparing for Leaving Certificate. And I am still Mum. I guess I always will be.
There's no way to getting it right but there's always fun and frolics and extreme hardship in trying. I'll tell you all about my hardships and my fun times and my very proud times. I'll tell you about the times I cried, the times I squealed, the times I laughed and the times I hid away.
Read along if you want and ignore if you so decide. Parenting is never easy. It's the toughest job going. And it pays nil.
But we wouldn't change it. So here's my story!

GMcC