Brooklyn, The movie, and that dreaded 'goodbye'.

Last night I went along to see the movie Brooklyn. Based on the novel by Colm Toibín I was really looking forward to seeing it on the big screen. Being an avid book lover I was well prepared for the movie falling short of the book. Which it did...but....
The movie awoke in me memories I thought were in the past. Images which I could so clearly relate to, and a genuine heartfelt sympathy towards every mother in the past who said 'goodbye' to a son or daughter from the homeland.
Brookly tells the story of a young Irish girl, Eilis Lacey, who leaves her home in Co. Wexford to build a better life for herself in Brooklyn. She leaves behind her elder sister Rose, and her mother. It is mid 1950's and the boat journey alone was one of sheer horror.
I knew the story. I've read it and tutored it. There were going to be no surprises here for me. Or so I thought.
As Eilis boarded the ship at Cork and her mother and sister stood by, it simply drew on raw emotion from every single person in the packed cinema theatre. One doesn't have to have experienced this situation to have been affected from this on the big screen last night. Such was the portrayal. Close up shots of both Eilis and her family were enough to bring a tear to every eye.
But alas the tears I shed were not just for this and so many other families in years gone by. My tears that welled up were awakening memories from just a few years ago.
My eldest son was leaving home to spend two years in a very remote part of Canada. I was so pleased that he was going to see the world and no doubt better himself in so many ways, but the experience of that 'goodbye' ripped a little piece of me to shreds.
As I watched these scenes last night it made me realise just how lucky I had been, and how lucky all of us mothers in the modern day are when saying such a 'goodbye'. We have the internet, we have mobile phones and we have such easy accessibility to keep in touch. As my son left Irish shores I knew I'd be speaking to him the following day. I knew I'd see him on a regualar basis via 'Skype' and 'Facetime'. And I knew that he would definitely return home again. Even if he had chosen to make a life long-term in Canada it wouldn't have meant never seeing him again.
As I watched this gripping scene last night I thought on all those mothers who said 'goodbye' to sons and daughters all those years ago and they genuinely didn't know if they would ever see their children again. It would be weeks and maybe months before a letter would arrive with news. Many were never heard of again. As a mother, I cannot even begin to contemplate such.
When the tears finally subsided I did enjoy the movie Brooklyn. It showcases emigration and all that it entails wonderfully. It is definitely a movie I would highly recommend but put a tissue in your pocket (you will be needing it). Saoirse Ronan excels in her portrayal of Eilis.
More than anything I came away thankful for the developments in modern technology and knowing that we mothers will never experience the great sense of loss and that 'wake' by the boat. Count our blessings that emmigration in the modern day doesn't mean 'goodbye' forever.

GMcC

Leaving Cert prep

Having two sons well and truly through the Leaving Cert it's now time to try and prepare the youngest kiddo for such. June 2016 seems a lifetime away now in November but alas it will be upon us before we can say 'Big Maggie'!
And yes, Keane's masterpiece 'Big Maggie' is indeed one of the texts he is studying for the forthcoming exams. With seven subjects alongside LCVP to prepare and revise it's quite a daunting concept thinking that these exams really can determine your future.
When kiddo no. 1 was preparing for the Leaving Cert I was nagging day in, day out, to get the books out and get revising. I would consistently repeat, 'these are the most important exams you will ever do'. And I still stand by the fact that these probably are the most important exams they will ever do: but I'm a tad more relaxed now with no. 3!
I'm not relaxed in that I don't want to encourage him to work well and do his best but more so in that I've realised these exams are not the 'be all and end all'. I've watched parents sending their 10 year old children to 'grinds' over the past year in preparation for the 'transfer test' in Northern Ireland. I watched the same children redo and redo past exam papers. These kids are just 10 years of age. Personally I view this as cruelty. And here I am just nagging the 17 year old to read over notes!
I place huge emphasis on my boys getting a good education. The main requirement always has been that they 'have' to do the Leaving Cert. I had dreams that they would then choose to take the college route and acquire a third level qualification - to which boys 1 and 2 have done.
Now as the youngest kiddo prepares for Leaving Cert and plans to further his education after such, I can smile with the knowledge that they will each have that little thing called an education to help carry them through life.
Having that said education is no guarantee to success or fortune, but it will be of huge benefit in so many areas in life. It instils a level of self-confidence and self-belief in themselves. It teaches them life and social skills for the future. It teaches them that they have a 'voice'. And going to college does of course teach them to fend for themselves (well maybe not!!).
So as the onslaught of the forthcoming Leaving Cert fast approaches and the stress kicks in, I must keep reminding myself that this is not the 'be all and end all'. It is just another step forward in the boys life. When he decides to turn on the playstation and convince me it's his 'time out', I must remember to respect that 'time out'. And then when June arrives, I'm going to trust that the kiddo will indeed do the best that he can do. I don't expect him to do the best that someone else can do. He isn't someone else, He's just himself. And whatever the outcome I know I'll be proud. Leaving Cert 2016 we're ready. Come and get us!

GMcC

Sick Days

It's Monday morning once more and it brings with it not only the wind and the rain, but some sickness too. The kiddo was awake and ready for school but the coughing and spluttering was consistent. And so I told him to go back under the duvet and have a day of rest to see if the dose might shift.
I came downstairs and then contemplated my decision. I know I've made the right one but I didn't always do such. When the children were young I was adamant that they couldn't miss school. I didn't want them falling behind with that all important school work.
Now I still think it's important to keep up with that all important school work but I think it's much more important to keep on top of your health. The kiddo might just have a bad cold and cough but I'd much rather know he was under his duvet, warm and comfy, than troopsing through school all day and passing around his germs.
Next week he has his final set of 'house exams'. His next exams will be the Mock Leaving Cert in February and then of course it's the 'big one' in June.
He's been given some instructions (by me, mother of course) to read over some revision notes, after he's had an extended morning sleep, and stay warm for the day.
Maybe this makes me a bad mother encouraging him to stay off school when he's really not falling apart at the seams, but I've learned with experience that having a healthy family far outweighs the opposite.
Everyone who knows me will be aware that I place my children's educatioin at the core of their development but their health and well being is so much more important.
So it's a sick day for the kiddo today. I'll be getting a mid-morning text message from school saying he's been marked absent. I'll make the call to explain he's sick and all will be well.
I've learned over the years that a clean sheet of attendance is nice to get, but not at the price of my kids health. Sick days, we all need them!

GMcC