Living on a Council Estate!

Whilst blogging with Mummy Pages I wrote a piece one month about my bringing my boys up on a Council Estate. It got a lot of feedback so I'm doing similar again. Not because I want lots of feedback but because it's something I feel very strongly about.
I moved to my present house when my two eldest boys were just 4 and 1. Having moved back home after a number of years in Co. Clare and a short spell in New York, my husband I had been renting a house in our local area for a few years. We had been placed on a waiting list for new Council housing as at that time we were both unemployed. Luck was on our side and in 1995 we were allocated a brand spanking new three bedroomed house in the village we were residing (and still reside today).
We moved in shortly after and life took a turn which I wasn't expecting.
Having grown up in a modest 4 bed bungalow in the countryside I had no understanding of council estate living or the like. So moving into this new house could only bring joy and happiness...right? Wrong!
It brought us a very comfortable place to live, warm, clean and spacious. It brought us the opportunity to settle and begin to build our family home. But it also brought us social segregation from many around. Living in a council estate gives others the right to judge you. Or so those others seem to think.
Fortunatley myself and my husband both came from strong independent backgrounds and both had good educations. But that didn't matter to others. It did matter to me. Having this behind me enabled me to grasp at my own confidence and self-esteem to get through many times when I felt frowned upon by others on the so called 'outside'. Those who lived in large, fancy houses. And those who probably wouldn't know the meaning of the word 'manners' if one threw it at them. But each and every one of my neighbours knew the word 'manners'. There was a mutual respect from everyone in the neighbourhood. Mind you that's not to say there weren't falling outs among neighbours, neighbourly disputes on many occasions, but those are all long forgotten about and put to rest. Doesn't everyone fall out now and again? I'm aware of people in neighbouring villages and towns who don't speak to their neighbour over silly issues. But of course we don't talk about them. They don't live in a council estate!
I can say that everyone in my street speak, greet and welcome each other on a daily basis. I still live in that same house, with the same neighbours and unfortunately still some of the same prejudice. I and my husband bought our house many years ago. At one time we contemplated selling up and moving out. We could buy in another estate in the village...or we could build a nice home in the country. But after thinking about it, we decided to stay where we were. There are neighbours all around where we can call if something is wrong. We can call in the middle of the night if we need something. And I'm pretty sure I can call first thing in the morning if I need a drop of milk.
Many of my neighbours still rent their house from the local council. Does that make me better than them because I own my house? Most certainly NOT. If anything it makes us all the more equal. We all live in the same street and have made our family lives in the same vicinity. Much of my work takes me around the local area, county, country and indeed sometimes further afield. I've met some amazing people and in recent years I met many contemporary music stars. I've hung out with Eric Bell (Thin Lizzy)...I've chatted with Bryan Adams...and I've had the banter with Sinead O'Connor. As for trad musicians worldwide, I've lost count of those I've interviewed and gotten to know. But at the end of all this, I return home to my little abode in that Council Estate. That abode that I call home. That abode that is surrounded by great neighbours and the abode I don't plan on leaving anytime soon.
Being a Mum in this situation was never easy. It made me more determined that ever to ensure my boys were educated to the highest degree. The youngest boy is preparing for his college education next year and the elder two have done theirs. But that's not the only education that I've encouraged in them. Perhaps the most important education they have gotten is that they know never to judge another person.
Word to the not so wise....never judge a book by it's cover and never just a person by where they live.

GMcC

Christmas gift

One always looks forward to Christmas and having that fun time with family. However not eveyone can look forward as it means hardship and struggle when the money just isn't there. Our children all get excited as the Christmas season fast approaches and it never changes.
In the present day I am the very proud mother to three young men. The childhood days are long gone and the excitement however is no less! Santa will still come to the 'men' and smiles will be had on Christmas Day.
But I may differ just a little from many around me. Lots of money does NOT be spent. Lots of presents do NOT be bought. This has always been the way. When the boys were little there was always a budget and it was never exceeded. The budget was put in place initially because funds were low and times were tough. No shame in admitting it and I'll always stand by it. I think the budget was €50 each when the  children were little and it went up to €100 in the teenage years. It was a lot for us and it enabled the children to recieve a nice present and small surprise each year.
I recall close friends spending in excess of €500 on each child and I always said that even if I could ever afford such, it would not be put in place. I have never been able to afford such so the decision has never been an issue.
Christmas for me was always about the fun and frolics during the Christmas period. It was about sharing that glass of wine (maybe 2!) with a very dear friend on Christmas Eve. It was about the children waking myself and their Dad in the very early hours and them insisting that Dad venture downstairs first. This ritual went on for many years.
Now on Christmas Eve, Dad and I still put the surprise presents out when all are in bed. I still have that glass of wine with the dear friend. And fortunately we do get to lie on that little bit longer now (maybe 6am!). The boys still get up quite early and the Christmas morning fun will still be had.
I'm telling this story because I think I did Christmas the right way. I'm not saying I'm right but I think it paid off. The holiday time was about spending it with the children and just enjoying. It was the one time of year we always had 'pyjama days'. We had 'movie days' and we just had 'family days'. Each of these days cost nothing. But they were rich and filled with wealth in so many ways.
As I watched an IKEA advertisment online just recently it all came back to me. It really does hit home what children really want. I'm pretty certain I didn't get to give my children everything they ever wanted but I did give my time. Now as they all grow into adults, I can see the rewards. Just give it a go. You'll be pleasantly surprised.
IKEA advert

GMcC

Sunday outings!

For many people Sundays are meant for lazing around and switching off for that one day only. As a mother I always saw Sundays as the one day the family spent together.
The three boys would look forward to the Sunday dinner as they knew that following this it would be all heads off out for the afternoon. Yes every Sunday it was a ritual to leave the house and go exploring.
Very often this trip took us to a beach where we all walked for what seemed like hours or if weather allowed, fun times would be had in the water. Winter walks along beaches were also had. There were trips to forest parks, to country fields, to touristy spots. And there were some Sunday's where we just put on the wooly hats and coats and went walking locally.
Whatever the weather and whatever the season, a Sunday would always consist of a day out. Very often these days would have incurred little expense (finances didn't allow) but as we learned over time, it didn't have to cost anything to spend that one day together.
As time went by and football matches became the norm on Sunday mornings and lunchtime, the outing would still be had later in the day.
I don't have those days any more. The boys have grown up and do their own Sunday rituals. However I spied on one of the boys facebook just lately that he and his girlfriend were walking a beach on a Sunday afternnon. I smiled to myself hoping this will be something he will continue to do as life goes on and he has his own family. It's a tradition which I firmly believe was very important for the family as a whole.
And it doesn't have to stop there. Myself and himself still take those Sunday trips. And on each one, we'll remember one of those Sunday's many years ago. They were great ones. But these are great ones too....these are for 'grown ups' only!!

GMcC